An elderly Scottish man, smartly dressed in a suit, big grin on his face.
Customer: Hello darling.
Me: Hiya, you alright?
C: Oh yes, I’m lovely. Sorry, I might be annoying. I just want to go and see a show, but I’ve already seen loads. It’s ‘cos my pal is outside and I want to treat him.
Me: No worries, have you any idea what you might want to see?
C: I think he’d love to see Lion King – do you think that’s a good choice? I’m gonna surprise him, see.
Me: Yeah, I think that’s a great choice. When do you want to go?
C: How’s about Saturday night? ‘Cos that’s the best night isn’t it? I think that’s when it’ll be most fun for him.
Me: Yeah there’s always a great atmosphere on a Saturday night, but it’s really busy so it gets a bit pricey. There are some tickets left off to the side here at £60 —
C: *Wincing slightly* Aye, it is a bit pricey eh? What about in the centre?
Me: Even more expensive, £85 there.
C: *Winces again* Aye sweetheart, it’s expensive. I dunno, he’s my best pal. I wanna do something nice for him, y’know? Let me just consult the accountant in my head… Yeah. Let’s do it. £85 each, who cares? Ya can’t take it with ya, anyway, can ya?
Me: Very true, but I can look in to some other shows if you like?
C: That’s good of ya, sweetheart, but it’s alright. If ya cannae spend your money treating a pal, what else ya gonna spend it on?
*I start booking the tickets and his old mate comes in to see what he’s doing.*
Friend: Ey pal, what’s your game now?
C: Never you mind.
Friend: You’re an old rogue, d’you know that?
C: I’m treating ya.
Friend: Treating me?
C: Yeah, you’re getting a wee present. Mind your own business.
Friend: Eh what you doing now?
C: I’m taking you to see the Lion King, tomorrow night. I said, I wanna treat ya.
Friend: Ya never are?
C: I am!
Friend: Eh pal, I cannae believe that. That’s brilliant. Are ya sure, now? Shall I not pay?
C: Course I’m sure, I wouldnae do it otherwise, would I? Now get back outside, stop eavesdropping.
If that ain’t some heart-warming, life affirming stuff – I don’t know what is.