Today, 19th May 2014, marks my 6 year anniversary of selling theatre tickets on Leicester Square. The tourists have pulled out all the stops to help me celebrate …
A topless Spanish man enters my shop, with his pudgy nips glaring me straight in the eyes.
Man: How much is Thriller?
Me: Prices range between £30 to £43.50 this evening.
Man: £43.50? That’s expensive.
Man: What if I told you I don’t give a fuck about the theatre?
Me: … OK.
Man: Oh don’t be like that, I just came in ‘cos you have nice eyes.
Man: There’s no need to call the police.
Me: I wasn’t intending to.
Man: Why don’t you give me a high five?
Me: No thanks.
Man: If you don’t give me a high five, I won’t leave.
*I lightly graze my fingertips along his palm. It’s slicker than a butter based turkey.*
Me: So, bye then.
Man: Haha, see ya.