You must give me the name of that miracle wrinkle cream you’ve been using. 

Standard

Me: We have stalls tickets at £43.
Customer: Right. And will I get an extra discount for booking two?
Me: These tickets are already discounted. A further group discount applies on sales of over 12.
C: Well me and my wife are both over the age of 12?
Me: Oh really? I hadn’t noticed. Your M&S Country Casuals pullover and wrinkly visage had completely thrown me off… No, dum dum. I of course meant 12 or more tickets, not your god damn age. 

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