A man enters, interrupting my discussion with a customer.
Man: Ah ‘scusey. You tell me the theatre by the restaurant.
Me: I’m sorry, say that again?
Man: You tell me the theatre by the restaurant.
Me: Any particular theatre?
Man: Particular restaurant.
Me: So you know which restaurant you’re looking for?
Me: Maybe? Right. So what’s the name of it?
Man: It might be Dee and Vee.
Me: It might be Dee and Vee?
Me: Dee and Vee? I’ve never heard of that. Perhaps you know the name of the theatre?
Man: No just maybe the restaurant Dee and Vee. You look it up for me, Dee and Vee.
Me: I genuinely can’t think of a single restaurant by that name.
Man: Yes. Dee and Vee restaurant.
*A customer in the queue*
Customer: Could he mean The Ivy?
Me: I’m not sure. Are you looking for The Ivy?
Man: Ummm. Maybe The Ivy, I don’t know. What theatres are near that?
Me: Well The Mousetrap is very close, or Stomp.
Man: Mousetrap! That’s what I see! You show me how I get there.
Me: *Drawing it on a map for him* Take your first left here, and it’s behind Pizza Hut.
Man: OK. I already bought tickets from someone else.
*He takes my map and leaves without so much as a thank you or a goodbye.*
Me: Umm … So where was I?