Two girls in their mid-twenties braying all over my shop about all their friends who are in West End shows blah blah oh remember when we attended the What’s On Stage awards? blah blah Kerry Ellis is overrated blah blah.
By the time it’s their turn, I already want to take a dump and use their hair to wipe my bum. Then they somehow miraculously manage to make me loathe them more…
Me: Can I just take a family name and an email address for the booking please?
Girl 1: *Gives her details*
Girl 2: And make a note of that name, because she’ll be starring in these shows one day.
Me: Sure sure, I’ll make a note of the name, but only so I remember to set fire to the CV you’ll definitely be handing in next year.