Yeah, jog on.


Some teenage girls approach me, being loud and shamelessly nasal.

Girl 1: Where’s Lyceum?
Girl 2: We don’t want tickets, just tell us where it is.

*I’m too exhausted to call them out for not saying please, so I just draw it on a map, hand it to her and say…*

Me: It’s in Covent Garden, head straight up this road.
Girl 1: *Handing the map back to me* I’m just going to dinner so put that somewhere safe for me and I’ll be back in an hour or something to pick it up.

*I stare at her*

Girl 1: ‘Cos I haven’t got a handbag. I don’t wanna carry it, so you keep it for me, yeah. Back in a bit.
Me: Only if you’re sure? I could come with you if that’s easier? I’ll just wait outside in the rain til you’ve eaten, then maybe I could carry your bags to the theatre for you…?


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