I’m sat in a tiny hut, basically enough room for my limbs and a bottle of water. Three women approach me.
Woman: Is this the theatre?
Me: Come again?
W: Is this the theatre?
Me: You’re asking me if this tiny little cupboard is a theatre?
Me: Well what do you think? Have a look at the floor space – does this really look like it might be a theatre? I mean, just where exactly do you think I’m hiding the stage?
W: *Rolling her eyes* Well if this isn’t a theatre, what is it?
Me: It’s a box office.
W: Fine. So can you be less sarcastic and tell me how to get to the theatre?
Me: WHICH theatre? You haven’t actually specified what you’re looking for.
W: The Lion King.
Me: *Drawing it on a map for her* It’s in Covent Garden. Just a heads up, you’ll be looking for a building that is around 3000 times bigger than this space.
W: So which way am I heading?
Me: Oh god, just follow the map!
I just don’t have the patience for stupidity today, and that is that.