The best things in life are free, except for all the things that aren’t free.

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Woman strides over, points at a Bodyguard poster featuring Tristan Gemmill.

Customer: Mmmm, yummy. I’ll have one of him please.
Me: Sorry?
C: Him. I wouldn’t mind having a go on him. That bit of rough off Emmerdale. (He was in Casualty actually, but I let it slide)
Me: I’ll give him a call, see if he’s up for it.
C: Ha, don’t bother. Les Mis. Tomorrow. Three tickets. I don’t wanna pay nuffink.
Me: Well I’ll need to check the system, but I think it’s safe to assume the theatre won’t just be giving free tickets away.
C: Fuck it then. We weren’t that bothered anyway to be honest.
Me: OK, cool.
C: Tara.

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