Everyone’s a comedian these days, eh?

Standard

Customer: Hi, we booked these tickets here yesterday and now we want a refund HAHAHA ONLY JOKING DON’T WORRY WE JUST WANT DIRECTIONS TO THE THEATRE HAHAHA.
Me: *Fake laughter weaker than a thrice strained tea bag* Oh, haha. Well Matilda is on at the Cambridge theatre, I’ll just mark it on a map for you.
C: It’s really funny because when I saw the address on the ticket yesterday I thought it meant the theatre was actually in Cambridge. I couldn’t believe it, I thought “I can’t believe I’ve come all the way to London, and then I’ve gone and bought tickets for something in bloody Cambridge!” HAHAHA. But it’s not actually in Cambridge is it, HAHAHA, that’s just the name of the theatre. The Cambridge Theatre HAHAHA. What a plonker I am HAHAHA.
Me: Yeah, ‘plonker’ is one word for you… ‘Skidmark’ is another.

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