Customer: Do you have tickets for Miriam?
Me: Is there even the slightest chance that you might mean Matilda?
Customer: Have you got tickets for the Book of Normans?
Me: Get out.
P.S It’s PHANTOM of the Opera, not PHANTASMA of the Opera. Glad we cleared that up.
P.P.S I also have disproportionate levels of rage reserved for tourists who manage to pronounce Wicked as one syllable: “You got Wict?” – BUGGER OFF!