my daily interactions with homeless people.


The only other people who spend as much time on Leicester Square as I do, are the people who live there, aka tramps. I’ve compiled some of my day-to-day interactions with them below.

  • Just sat watching a tramp puke up in to a bin. But tell me more about how your day’s going?
  • I’ve spent the last 10 minutes playing: “Guess How Much Money I Have In My Pocket” with a tramp… I’ll be honest, it’s no substitute for Monopoly. He said he’s going to come back later to, “work out the contracts” with me. So that’s something to look forward to…
  • OVERHEARD: Two homeless women discussing their man troubles, “one minute he’s really full on, the next he says he just wants a bit of fun” – Fixed abode, or no fixed abode, we all got man troubles, ladies.
  • A homeless guy on Leicester Square to me: “you look like a nice bag of pudding”… Bit odd, but taking it as a compliment.
  • Old guy begging at Leicester Square station just punched a wall and then told me to “work myself in to an early grave”… Happy Thursday, y’all.
  • Get yourself down to Charing Cross road now if you’d like to witness a tramp clipping his girlfriend’s gnarled toenails. It’s sweet AND gross all at the same time.

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