Thursday, 24 October 2013 at 16:15

Standard

Elderly Lady: What are you doing?
Me: Um, just putting some lip balm on.
Lady: No, I mean why are you here?
Me: Just working.
Lady: But what is your work? What is your business?
Me: I’m selling theatre tickets.
Lady: Oh that’s what we call this, is it. *Gestures grandly around the shop* Theatre?
Me: Uh, I spose, yeah.
Lady: So what about this Book of Mormon, would that be called “a theatre”.
Me: Well it’s a theatre production yeah, a musical specifically.
Lady: Right. Interesting. I thought it was a place for Christians to gather together.
Me: No, it’s nothing like that, just a musical.
Lady: Tell me, these Mormons, do they fall under the umbrella of Christianity? Me: I’m actually not sure, but certainly as a show, it’s more about mocking religion than celebrating it.
Lady: “Show”? Don’t you mean “theatre”?
Me: Oh sorry, yeah, show, theatre, musical, all means the same thing I guess.
Lady: Really? Hmmm. Very interesting. And can you tell me if this “show” focuses on the Latter Day Saints bible?
Me: Um, well if that’s a part of Mormonism then I suppose it would be touched upon in some capacity, but I’m not really au fait with the terminology.
Lady: But what are these “Mormons”? What’s their business? Do they love Lord Jesus Christ? Can I go there to celebrate Jesus?
Me: No, that’s not really the intention of this particular show.
Lady: You think they wouldn’t welcome me?
Me: I’m guessing they’d welcome the hundred odd quid you’d have to shell out on a ticket, but perhaps you wouldn’t enjoy the content.
Lady: How so?
Me: I mean look, it’s a very clever, and brilliantly executed musical, but as I said, it mocks religion. It’s just a theatre, not a place of worship.
Lady: That’s disgusting. That’s what you get up to in these “theatres” is it? Why would you think I’d want to watch that?
Me: Well I didn’t think you would, I was just… I mean, yeah, I’m getting the impression it wouldn’t be your cup of tea.
Lady: Have you seen my bible? *Shows me her bible*
Me: Oh, it’s… nice.
Lady: Yes I know. I think I’m going to pop in at this Book of Mormonism and have a word. You’re saying it’s a church, yes?
Me: No, I’m saying it’s… Yeah. It’s a church.
Lady: Yes.
Me: OK. Well, bye then. Take care.
Lady: Yes.

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