Customer: What films are on at the cinema tonight?
Me: I don’t know, sorry. I sell theatre tickets.
C: Yeah I know what you sell, I just want to know what films are on and at what times.
Me: Right. Have you considered going to a cinema to make these enquiries?
C: Can’t be bothered walking around, can’t you just tell me?
Me: Well, the thing is I don’t actually work for a cinema, so I don’t have that information.
C: It’s only one film I’m interested in, surely you would know?
Me: I doubt it.
C: Sparkle. I want to know if Sparkle is playing anywhere?
Me: Right. I don’t know. Sorry.
C: Look it up on your computer then!
Me: I don’t have the internet.
C: So what were you looking at when I came in the shop?
Me: A text message on my phone.
C: Then why have you got a computer if it doesn’t have the internet?
Me: It has access to our ticketing system.
C: Yeah right. All I want to know is when the next showing of Sparkle is on, and you seriously won’t help me?
Me: I’m just not really sure what you’re expecting me to do?
C: Well, a fat lot of good you’ve been.
Me: If you want to ask me a theatre related question, I’m sure I would be able to help you.
C: Yeah. Thanks for nothing.
Me: Have you considered going in to B&Q to ask them about Topshop’s Autumn/Winter range?
Me. Nothing babe. Guess I’ll see you later then, yeah?
And with that, I think I’ll be closing up for the day. As always Leicester Square , it’s been a complete pleasure.