Male teenager swaggers in to my shop and throws a ball of paper at me.
Youth: Alright darling, do you do work experience here?
Me: No sorry, we don’t.
Youth: Sorry I chucked that paper baby.
Me: That’s alright.
Youth: You’re really beautiful.
Me: Thank you.
Youth: Has anyone ever told you that before?
Me: Oh, once or twice I guess.
Youth: It’s true innit. Have you got BBM?
Me: No I haven’t.
Youth: iPhone? Whatsapp? Why don’t you take my digits baby and we can take this further?
Me: Oh that’s kind, but no thank you, I’d better not.
Youth: Why, do you think you’re better than me?
Me: Not at all, I just think you’re a little young.
Youth: Why would you say that?
Me: Because you’re looking for work experience and wearing a school uniform, so I’m assuming you’re about 15.
Youth: 16. That makes me legal to have sex with.
Youth: Do you get me? I’m legal. And I’m a virgin, y’know. Why don’t you take my virginity? Don’t you wanna teach me how to have sex and treat you right?
Me: Again, that’s really kind of you but I’m going to have to give it a miss.
Youth: Just because I’m 16? Don’t be a bitch about it. I’m coming back for you when I’m 18. Wait and see.
Me: OK. I’ll look forward to that one. Let’s hope you’ve learned some manners by then.
Youth: Yeah, yeah, baby. Whatever you say.
Then he bowls out. Can’t believe how young dickheads are being bred these days. Imagine what an outrageous bell end he’s gonna be with another 10 years under his belt? Sick.