Wednesday, 30 November 2011 at 10:18


My day so far: I arrive at my little metal shack on Piccadilly Circus to find that the shop awning has been left open over night. Rectifying this involves me fetching a long, detachable, metal pole, which I have to hook over a loop in the awning and twist frantically in an attempt to retract it. Cue bumbaclart tourist taking this opportune moment to wave a map in my face, as I toil away, enquiring what area he was currently in. I sighed at him, rolled my eyes exaggeratedly,  poured as much venom in to my voice as possible and said: “Piccadilly Circus” – which he wasn’t content with…

C: Yeah I know that, but point it out on the map!
Me: Kind of got my hands full mate. 
C: Well can’t you just stop that for a minute and show me — 

Cut to: The entire contents of last night’s rainfall spilling out of the awning, and on to his breadbin of a head! YEEEEESSSSSSSS! He hopped and gasped and stuttered, then stalked off shouting: “D’you know what? Just fucking forget about it!”

Cheers to the Big Drive in the sky for doling out a little divine retribution at last.


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