Saturday, 10 March 2012 at 13:19

Standard

Old Eastern European lady at my booth, 70 if she’s a day…

Me: What’s your family name please?
Old Woman: Jay. Actually Jay is the name of my ex-husband. You know, I keep bumping in to him everywhere; At bus stop, at church group, in supermarket – I think he want a piece of me. Silly man following me around, lusting after me, but 35 years ago he walk out on me and our girls. I had to raise them on my own. This was very tough in those days. He’s a bastard. Follow his dick, now he trying to follow his dick back in to my bed. If he keep poking his dick everywhere, it gonna get chopped off. 
Me: Amen to that. Sounds like Jay has royally pissed on his chips ain’t he? 
O.W: Yes. He piss all over his chips, but not on me, you know what I’m saying *wink wink*?!  
Me: Standard babes. Enjoy Dreamboats And Petticoats, yeah?
O.W: Oi crafty, you owe me £3.50 change!
Me: Oh I do beg pardon my presh. Here you are. Careful as you go now.
O.W: See you.

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